Funniest Dream I ever had

Early morning, the house was decorated with flowers as it looks like a wedding happening in the house.

Also there was a panic in the face of people in the home.

veryone is consoling the Groom as he is sitting in the corner of the hall in his traditional dress.

There was no happiness in faces of the people.

Some of the relatives were trying to reach the bride through mobile, but no hopes.

The groom was sitting with pale face and worried eyes as he was not able to conclude what happened.

All of a sudden there was a noise at the front door slow it increased and moved towards the room.

The bride appeared at last, traditionally dressed and looked tired.

The groom was eager to know from her as she started to walk towards him.

She came close to the guy, holding his hand she said “Sorry Dear, We had a stretch assignment last night at office, I was not able to take permission”

The guy Cried “Oh Fuck!!!!  It was our first night yesterday? But you told you took permission?”

Girl replied back “Yes I did, it was for the marriage alone”

Might sound funny but we are heading towards it, surely will happen in some years.

Never Give Up

Sir Winston Churchill took three years getting through eighth grade because he had trouble learning English. It seems ironic that years later Oxford University asked him to address its commencement exercises.

He arrived with his usual props. A cigar, a cane and a top hat accompanied Churchill wherever he went. As Churchill approached the podium, the crowd rose in appreciative applause. With unmatched dignity, he settled the crowd and stood confident before his admirers. Removing the cigar and carefully placing the top hat on the podium, Churchill gazed at his waiting audience. Authority rang in Churchill's voice as he shouted, "Never give up!"

Several seconds passed before he rose to his toes and repeated: "Never give up!" His words thundered in their ears. There was a deafening silence as Churchill reached for his hat and cigar, steadied himself with his cane and left the platform. His commencement address was finished.

Shake It Off and Step Up

A parable is told of a farmer who owned an old mule. The mule fell into the farmer's well. The farmer heard the mule 'braying' -- or whatever mules do when they fall into wells. After carefully assessing the situation, the farmer felt sorry for the mule, but decided that neither the mule nor the well was worth saving. Instead, he called his neighbors together and told them what had happened and asked them to help haul dirt to bury the old mule in the well and put him out of his misery.

Initially, the old mule was hysterical! But as the farmer and his neighbors continued shoveling and the dirt hit his back, a thought struck him. It suddenly dawned on him that every time a shovel load of dirt landed on his back: he should shake it off and step up! This is what the old mule did, blow after blow. "Shake it off and step up... shake it off and step up... shake it off and step up!" he repeated to encourage himself.

No matter how painful the blows, or distressing the situation seemed, the old mule fought "panic" and just kept right on shaking it off and stepping up! You guessed it! It wasn't long before the old mule, battered and exhausted, stepped triumphantly over the wall of that well! What seemed like it would bury him, actually end up blessing him. All because of the manner in which he handled his adversity.

Paid In Full

A young man was getting ready to graduate from college. For many months he had admired a beautiful sports car in a dealer's showroom, and knowing his father could well afford it, he told him that was all he wanted. As Graduation Day approached, the young man awaited signs that his father had purchased the car.

Finally, on the morning of his graduation, his father called him into his private study. His father told him how proud he was to have such a fine son, and told him how much he loved him. He handed his son a beautifully wrapped gift box. Curious, and somewhat disappointed, the young man opened the box and found a lovely, leather-bound Bible, with the young man's name embossed in gold. Angrily, he shouted at his father and said "with all your money, you give me a Bible?" and stormed out of the house.

Many years passed and the young man had become very successful in business. He had a beautiful home and wonderful family, but realized his father now was getting old, and thought perhaps he should go see him. He had not seen him since that graduation day.

Before he could make arrangements, he received a telegram telling him his father had passed away, and willed all of his possessions to his son. He needed to come home immediately and take care of things.

When he arrived at his father's house, sudden sadness and regret filled his heart. He began to search through his father's important papers and saw the still gift-wrapped Bible, just as he had left it years ago. With tears, he opened the Bible and began to turn the pages.

His father had carefully underlined a verse, Matt.7:11, "And if ye, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more shall your Heavenly Father which is in Heaven, give to those who ask Him?" As he read those words, a car key dropped from the back of the Bible. It had a tag with the dealer's name, the same dealer who had the sports car he had wanted. On the tag was the date of his graduation, and the words PAID IN FULL.

The Hangover

A husband wakes up at home with a huge hangover.
He forces himself to open his eyes and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table.
He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all cleaned and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless and clean. The rest of the house is in equally good shape.
He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table.
"Honey, breakfast is on the table. I left early to go grocery shopping. Love You!"
He is totally shocked by the loving note. He goes to the kitchen and there is a hot breakfast and morning newspaper ready for him.
His son is eating at the table.
He asks, "Son, what happened last night?"
His son says, "Well, you came home around 3 a.m. drunk and delirious. You broke some crockery, puked in the hall and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door".
Confused, the man asks, "So why is everything in order and so clean? Why is there breakfast on the table waiting for me? I should expect to have a big quarrel with your mom!"
His son replies, "Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom and when she tried to take your clothes and shoes off, you said, ‘Lady Leave Me Alone! I'm Married!’"
- Moral of the story -
Self-induced hangover - $ 400.00
Broken crockery - $ 800.00
Breakfast - $ 10.00
Saying the right thing while drunk - "Priceless"

Source:http://www.lovefatedestiny.com

Puppies for Sale

A store owner was tacking a sign above his door that read "Puppies For Sale." Signs like that have a way of attracting small children and sure enough, a little boy appeared by the store owner's sign. "How much are you going to sell the puppies for?" he asked. The store owner replied, "Anywhere from $30-$50."

The little boy reached in his pocket and pulled out some change. "I have $2.37," he said. "May I please look at them?" The store owner smiled and whistled, out of the kennel came Lady, who ran down the aisle of his store followed by five teeny, tiny balls of fur. One puppy was lagging considerably behind.

Immediately the little boy singled out the lagging, limping puppy and said, "What's wrong with that little dog?" The store owner explained that the veteriarian had examined the little puppy and had discovered it didn't have a hip socket. It would always limp. It would always be lame. The little boy became excited. "That is the little puppy that I want to buy." The store owner said, "No, you don't want to buy that little dog. If you really want him, I'll just give him to you."

The little boy got quite upset. He looked into the store owner's eyes, pointing his finger, and said, "I don't want you to give him to me. That dog is worth every bit as much as all the other dogs and I'll pay full price. In fact, I'll give you $2.37 now, and 50 cents a month until I have him paid for."

The store owner countered, "You really don't want to buy this little dog. He is never going to be able to run and jump and play with you like the other puppies."

To this, the little boy reached down and rolled up his pant leg to reveal a badly twisted, crippled left leg supported by a big metal brace. He looked up at the store owner and softly replied, "Well, I don't run so good myself, and the little puppy will need someone who understands!"

The Butterfly

A man found a cocoon of a butterfly. One day a small opening appeared. He sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to squeeze its body through the tiny hole. Then it stopped, as if it couldn't go further. So the man decided to help the butterfly. He took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bits of cocoon. The butterfly emerged easily but it had a swollen body and shriveled wings.
The man continued to watch it, expecting that any minute the wings would enlarge and expand enough to support the body,
Neither happened! In fact the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around. It was never able to fly.
What the man in his kindness and haste did not understand: The restricting cocoon and the struggle required by the butterfly to get through the opening was a way of forcing the fluid from the body into the wings so that it would be ready for flight once that was achieved.
Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our lives. Going through life with no obstacles would cripple us. We will not be as strong as we could have been and we would never fly.